Thursday, January 30, 2014

Nota Cinta Buat Mel


Nota cinta ini saya dedikasikan buat sahabat baik saya, Mel.
Almarhumah Nor Shamila Abdul Yazid.
18 Febuari 1989-28 Januari 2014


Nota cinta yang saya sediakan lewat ketiadaan empunya diri lagi di dunia ini. Walaupun beliau tidak membaca tulisan jiwa jiwa ini, tapi insan insan yang menyayangi beliau ada untuk membacanya.


Saya bahasakan beliau sebagai Mel. Maaf saya seperti sebak mahu menggunakan perkataan arwah. Dia kawan saya semasa di UKM. Dialah kawan, dialah besfren, dialah hosmet, dialah rumet. Allah pinjamkan dia kepada saya lebih kurang 4 tahun lebih, memang singkat waktu itu, namun cukup untuk menjentik sayu dan rindu di hati ini. Dan saya pasti bukan saya sahaja yang rasa, malah ramai orang. Seorang gadis yang baik, hilangnya dia pasti terasa. Tiadanya dia pasti menggamit pilu.

Inilah beberapa rentetan kisah yang saya ada semasa hayatnya, lewat lewat hari terakhirnya di dunia ini. Pernah beberapa kali saya bawakan kisahnya dalam blog ini, tapi inilah satu satunya entri yang saya sediakan semuka untuk dia. Mel, sahabat terbaik saya dunia akhirat.

07 November 2013. Saya dikhabarkan tentang keadaan Mel yang mula sakit sakit. Dia sendiri yang maklumkan kepada saya tentang keadaan dia. Itupun sudah kali ke dua dia masuk wad. Saya tanya dia sakit apa, dia tak bagitau..sehinggalah beberapa kali mendesak, dia maklumkan yang sakit hidung berdarahnya mula melarat, dia muntah muntah darah. Itu sahaja. Dan selepas itu saya kembali sibuk dengan dunia saya. Kejam bukan T____T

05 Januari 2014. Mel bagitau dia masuk wad lagi. Ok, saya noted. Dan lepas tu saya sibuk balik dengan kerja saya. Nangis T_________T

08 Januari 2014. Saya baru teringat pada Mel. Facebooknya lain macam, penuh dengan doa doa agar dirinya sihat. Ya Allah, Mel sakit lagi? Saya hubungi kakaknya dan dimaklumkan yang Mel masuk wad lagi sekali. Kawan baik masuk wad dan aku boleh gelak golek golek tengok Runningman. Maafkan Ella Mel.....

11 Januari 2014. Saya ziarah Mel di hospital. Berserinya wajah Mel :) Masa ini Mel dah kurus macam saya. Pandai betul dia jaga badan. Saya dengar kisah kisah tentang Mel dari keluarga Mel, dan saya tahu masa tu Mel memang sedang mengalami sakit yang luar biasa teruknya walaupun pihak hospital belum sahkan sebarang penyakit pada Mel. Tapi senyuman manisnya masa tu mematikan anggapan kita semua yang dia sedang menderita. Tabahnya seorang Mel ini. Masa ziarah tu jugak, kami dikhabarkan yang Mel boleh keluar hujung minggu ini. Yeahhh Mel saya semakin sihat :) Alhamdulillah.



Tapi rupanya 11 Januari ini lah hari terakhir saya memeluknya, saya melihat senyum ketawanya. 
AllahuAkbar.

Minggu depannya Mel bagitau yang dia tak boleh keluar wad lagi sebab katanya ada kalenjar pada lehernya perlu dibedah. Tapi operation tu tak jadi dibuat. Alhamdulillah. Masa itu memang fikir Mel akan baik seperti sediakala. Dan lepas tu, saya update perkembangan Mel setiap minggu. Saya call dan saya sms. Saya berusaha dahulukan Mel. Alhamdulillah, saya tidak sia siakan masa yang saya ada dengannya lewat lewat harinya. Terima kasih Allah atas jentikan naluri itu. Terima kasih. Nanges.

15 Januari 2014. Saya call Mel tanya khabar. Inilah hari terakhir saya dengar suara arwah. Ya Allah, kenapa dia masih ketawa macam biasa bila saya buat lawak, padahal dia tengah sakit kuat.

16 Januari 2014. Mel sms saya. Katanya dia dah habiskan nasik satu pinggan hari tu. Hehe. Saya senyum sahaja. Saya tak reply pun. Kalaulah saya tahu inilah sms terakhir dari Mel....

26 Januari 2014. Kakak Mel hubungi saya. Maklumkan yang Mel telah didiagnos dengan Kanser Pendarahan Hidung/Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma dan akan jalani kemoterapi. Berdebarnya saya masa tu hanya Allah yang tahu.

27 Januari 2014. Saya pakat dengan Beton untuk maklumkan pada semua orang akan keadaan Mel. Maafkan kami sebab kami ingat Mel akan sihat, tapi ini aturan Allah. Kami mohon agar semua orang titipkan doa buat Mel. Ralat seketika bila kami dapat tahu yang Mel belum tahu dia ada kanser. Allahuakbar.

28 Januari 2014. Mel kritikal. Dia nazak. Doktor berusaha sehabis daya menyelamatkan Mel. Organ dalaman Mel dah rosak teruk. Seluruh peparunya dah kena jangkitan kuman. Kanser Mel masa tu dah tahap 4. Doktor pun dah bagitau yang malam ini adalah malam penentu segala galanya. Andai Mel kuat, akan ada esok untuknya, tapi kuatkah Mel untuk terus hidup andai ada ketaknormalan pada fungsi organ dalamannya? Masa tu jugak doktor maklumkan yang tubuh Mel sebenarnya ada komplikasi Lymphoma advanced stage (Maaf saya tak dpt byk info pasal ini or lebih tepat saya dah taknak ambik tahu derita Mel). Memang tubuh Mel dah tak kuat nak lawan penyakit. Saya dan kawan kawan berlapang dada, menerima apa sahaja yang terbaik yang Allah aturkan untuk Mel. 

28 Januari 2014 (2.26 pagi). Dari Allah kita datang, dan kepada Allah jualah kita kembali. Mel pergi menghadap Ilahi. Dengan tenang, bersaksikan mak dan ayahnya. Inilah yang Allah aturkan paling indah buat Mel. Dia pergi bagaikan seorang bayi, yang langsung tidak tahu apa sakitnya, yang habis dosanya kerana dikaffarah dengan sakitnya itu. Al-Fatihah.

*******************************

Mel, dia gadis baik. Dia bukan orang yang suka susahkan orang lain. Dari dia sihat sampailah dia sakit. Doktor dan nurse juga senang menjaga dia. Dia akan buat ikut kemampuannya. Tapi Mel bukan macam orang lain, dia tak mampu jalan jauh jauh. Dia tak boleh panjat tangga tinggi tinggi. Dia tak boleh kena panas. Dia kena pantang makan. Dia bukan seaktif mana, tapi dia berkawan dengan saya yang aktif, yang suka menggunakan tangga berbanding lif, yang suka berjalan dari naik bas. Salah saya Mel. Nanges lagi.

Mel,
Kami pasti rindu celotehmu, ketawamu, latahmu. Yaa..dulu saya selalu marah Mel sebab Mel kuat melatah haha. Melatah pulak yang bukan bukan. Pastu marah dia sebab dia jalan lambat, selalu kena tinggal kat belakang. Pastu dia suka tangkap gambar. Sikit sikit nak bawak kamera, ambik gambar lepastu sibuk nak upload dalam fesbuk. Sebelum upload dia edit edit dulu. Aduhai rajin sangat!

Andainya saya tahu lelahnya, penatnya, semputnya, pantangnya, sejuknya itu petanda dia bakal menderita, saya tatang dia bagai bayi. Mel..rindunya ella kat Mel. Hiris bawang lagi.

Semasa menghadiri majlis pengkebumian Mel di Pendang, saya menangis. Semua orang menangisi pemergian dia, saya tahu. Tapi tangisan saya atas rasa keinsafan dengan kuasa Allah bahawa ajal tidak mengira waktu dan usia, bukan atas rasa kehilangan. Sebab dalam keadaan kurang waras pada hari itu, saya seperti rasa bukan Mel yang terbujur kaku itu, saya tak rasa dia. Benda ni berlaku terlalu pantas. Saya tak percaya langsung, walaupun saya kenal itu tuala Mel, itulah jugak kain batik Mel. Allahuakbar.


Sampailah suatu waktu, saya kembali pada waras yang relevan, saya menangis teresak esak. Saya baru tersedar akan suatu hakikat, Mel telah mendahului saya dan saya tak akan jumpa lagi Mel selepas ini. Itupun selepas saya sudah kembali ke Taiping. Menangis.

Terima kasih Ya Allah, kerana kau pinjamkan seorang insan yang baik ini kepada kami, menjadi sahabat kami, mencipta memori bersama kami, membuatkan hari hari kami manis bila bersamanya.


Wahai insan kesayangan ramai, damailah engkau, tenanglah engkau di sana. Berbahagialah engkau bersama orang orang yang beriman. Sungguh demi Allah, aku rindu kau Mel.

Truly,
Your Ell.

25 comments:

s h a said...

Sedihnya baca kisah kawan Dina.Kuatnya Mel,gamba dia tgh sakit tu semua ceria.Al-fatihah untuk Mel.Semoga ditempatkan di kalangan yg beriman.Amin.

Mohd Afira Shamsuri said...

SEMOGA ALLAH,TEMPATKN MEL DIKALANGAN ORG2 YG BERIMN,AMIN

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